Welcome, I’m Duffy.

I am a child of divorce. I have been through my parents’ divorces in almost every stage of life. 4 times. Age 5, 18, 30 something x2 It was not fun at any age. Every broken relationship leaves a mark. Divorce #1 as a small child. My birth parents separated when I was...

This last bit of news and ah ha of my dad coming to understand his actions and apologizing to my mom has brought lots of thoughts. I feel like a 5 year old again asking,Why God? Why didn’t you fix it for their sake? Why didn’t you fix it for me? Why did they have to...

I can't get the strongest dream out of my mind, but it seems to totally fit. The night before, I had some sweet time with a couple of friends and they just randomly asked  me a question about my family and my family dynamics and my dad and so I ended up telling them a...

So the last few months have been exhausting. I thought that writing this was meant to be an encouragement to the young fearful woman that I WAS. That by sharing my struggles maybe the Lord would use me to draw someone into a deeper relationship with Him because I...

As I share my goal of writing this with my family I get unique responses. You see it is not just my story. It is our story. I am sharing my perspective but it is not just my story. I want to protect my family even those that are no longer in contact with me. Some of...

Traveling on a plane in Feb of 2024, and the guy next to me asks me what I am working on. Surprisingly, I told him, a book about being a child of divorce. The lady on the other side of me asks me to explain it a little more. I shared a little and it opened the door to...

You made the choice to be married. You made the choice to have children. You are now divorced whether it was by your choice or not. You can choose now to love your children by respecting their parent - Your EX. That may sound impossible but for the sake of your...

I saw in my daughter that she was willing to engage in a debate and healthy conversation because she wasn’t threatened that the relationship will end if they disagree. On the opposite side her boyfriend came from a divorced family that continues to struggle with...

The short answer is yes. For your good and for His Glory. I know this is not what you want to hear. Let’s look at this together and see why. Believe me I know that it feels safer to not forgive that parent. The hurt and anger have become a safeguard to keep you from...

This is a hard question to answer without knowing all of your details. My own parents' divorces tells me that it’s not that my parents didn’t love me. The truth is they didn’t always choose my best interest. The pain and fear in their lives clouded the way they...

Their hearts are so hard because they have gone into protective mode. It is a normal response when we are hurt, to put up walls and defend ourselves. No one wants to continue to be rejected and hurt so we close off the feelings and thoughts that we have so that the...

Yes*. There was a time that your parents came together in dating or marriage because there was something that they not only liked about each other but they loved each other. Part of their deep pain now is the love that they had for each other in the past. When people...