I had this vision of a place to call home where a mom and dad loved each other and worked together for my good. I think this is God’s plan for man and woman to come together to procreate so that His people will share about Him with the world around them.
But unfortunately, that is often not the way things work out. Selfishness and fears affect how we live, and that beautiful plan is disrupted. The home we are intended to have has to be redefined.
As a little girl, my parents separated and divorced. I wanted a dad in my life to complete that picture. He came back into my life, and as a teenager, I was fortunate to have two homes. As a young adult, just as I was stepping out on what I had redefined as my basis for what home looked like, both of those homes and marriages fell apart.
Anger and frustration set in as I once again tried to redefine what home meant to me. Fear held me back from trusting people around me.
But God, in His gracious ways, kept pursuing me. He had been teaching me about his faithfulness. Even though I was not willing to trust the people around me, He surrounded me with people who spoke His word into and over me.
This familiar Psalm wrapped truth around me to draw me closer to a God that would provide, refresh, guide, and ultimately provide a place for me to dwell. Read it with me as someone who is trying to figure out what home looks like.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. (I don’t have to worry about which parent is going to take care of me or love me.)
2 -3. He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul. (There is peace here that is calming in the midst of my parents’ disagreements. I can relax here and not worry or fear.)
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. (Even though my parents may have different rules in their homes, there is a best way to live. And it is for God’s glory, not theirs or mine.)
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me; ( I am not alone!)
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. (Boundaries are healthy.)
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows. (When I focus on where my provision comes from, I will be fulfilled.)
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever. (I have a place to belong and find home – a place to dwell.)
I remember reading this during my college years and crumpling into a ball of tears. I so desperately wanted a place where goodness and love would follow me.
I wanted a place to call home.
A place where I was not trying to define relationships.
A place that I didn’t have to fear would fall apart.
A place where one person couldn’t make a decision that would end it all.
A safe place to lie down and know that when I got up, it would be the same. Where the rules were all solid and didn’t change.
A place that wouldn’t leave me.
A place where home was defined.
Aren’t we all redefining home? Don’t we all hunger for this place of peace and rest where we don’t fear or question?
The Lord used the divorces of my parents to teach me about His faithfulness. As I was looking for that place, He loved me through His word, showing me that He was the home I was looking for.
Another scripture that I still cling to is Philippians 4:6-7.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
I wanted this peace so bad. I wanted a peace that surpassed understanding, but I certainly didn’t have it. I was mad, hurt, and confused. I wanted something that would guard my heart and mind.
So I backed up to verse 6. In every situation, ask God with thanksgiving.
“Ok Lord, this is hard and I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m tired of looking for home. I’m tired of trusting the people around me to only be disappointed. I’m tired of trying to find my way. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why this had to happen – AGAIN. Can you fix it? Will you fix it? Will you be my home? Will you give me that peace so I can stop looking for it?”
Do you know what His answer was?
“Yes, daughter, I have already done it. Read the last phrase of verse 7, through Christ Jesus. I had a plan for you. I have given you myself through my son so that you don’t have to worry or look for home anymore. I love you so much that I provided a way for you to be part of my family. I will be your provider. I will be your answers. I will be your home.”
Redefining home is a journey of wrapping truth (God’s word) around the life God has given us. It is finding our satisfaction in the One who not only created us but also gave Himself for us so that we could have a relationship with Him and share Him with others.
That is Home.