Is/Was it my fault?
First let me say this it’s not your fault – it’s just not. People are sinners and we live in a fallen world. Divorce is a result of broken relationships. It’s not your fault. There’s not anything that you could have done to change it or to fix it. And guess what, it’s not your responsibility.
I remember as a little girl, there were times that I wondered if I had been too much stress on the relationship. My biological parents were young. They married at 17 and had me at 18. Maybe it was my fault. If they hadn’t had the extra burden of having a child maybe they would still be together.
I remember later in college, one of my younger brothers struggled greatly with feeling like it was his fault that our dad and my first stepmom had gotten divorced.
Then there are other times that you just wonder –
“Could I have done something different?”
“Did I cause too much stress on their relationship?”
“Is there something wrong with me that caused them to argue?”
But I want to tell you, child of divorce, that it is not your fault!
Recently a friend was divorced, and her child asked the same question, and what I wanted to say again to her –
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT that your parents have made decisions that have affected their relationship.
Unfortunately, as a child of divorce we get to deal with the consequences of their bad choices. And honestly that sucks.
I will just come here to commiserate with you for a minute and let you know that I understand how badly that stinks. It is no fun to deal with the consequences of your parents’ broken relationship.
But you need to hear me say again – IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!