All of these people in my life, and it didn’t matter whether it was Baptist, Presbyterian, or Lutheran. The denomination was irrelevant when it came time for all of my parents to go through a divorce. Almost no one from the church really stepped in and said, “Can I walk through this with you?” No “Can I help you reconcile this relationship?” – hello. Not even “Can I walk through this with you to help you”
It’s because we are broken and we are afraid to get messy with people.
So CHURCH if you’re reading this please step up if you see somebody hurting and in a divorce potential relationship jump in. It’s scary but why not walk with another believer or child of this broken relationship and offer healing words and connection.
I will say that the current church I am in has stepped up to love at least one family walking through divorce. They are close friends and I see our elders and staff carrying a heavy burden for this family whether they are all receptive or not.
Which brings me to an important point – maybe family and church have tried. One thing I have witnessed in my parents divorces and now through friends divorces is that anger and pain often seal off what was once open and receptive. So maybe there is a family or church that tried to love your parent or walk with them. But when a spouse tells you they want a divorce there has already been so much closure on at least one side of the relationship that they can’t hear hope or healing words until they feel safe again from the hurt and anger.
Child of Divorce, plug into your church, be in relationship with people in your church so that it is not hard when the difficult times arise.